Remember

So ever since I left Nashville I have found myself purposefully trying to forget everything that I have been... well, kind of in my entire life. I guess its part of the development of any human being to want to try out different... yous, but for me, its mostly consisted of becoming apathetic and aimless, which, I don't know if you know me well enough to know, but I know for me, I love to have goals, and direction (notice the title of this blog). So, over the course of the last semester and change I have proceeded to try to shift myself into... well, oblivion basically, just to test my limits and figure out who I am more by being rid of all those things that have mattered to me, or rather, what I thought wasn't me. I.E. church.
I have been frustrated with church for a very long time now, and what I have come to realize is that all that frustration I have with church, and the people that participate in it, is entirely frustrations I have inside myself: I find church goers to be hypocritical, because they say they believe in this God and are supposed to worship this God, and enact the ideology that God lays out for the people, but rarely is this true... or rather, I believed that it wasn't. Instead I recognize that my problems with the "average church goer" is actually the problem I have with myself... I am hypocritical, I don't act on what I believe God is, I don't "live out my faith"... so on and so forth.
This is just one example of the realization I have come to.
Anyway, what I really want to talk about right now, more than anything is my quest to my map out my life, chronologically. So often I have all these great memories that shape me, and suddenly they all seem to disappear and I forget about where I have been, and what I have done, or haven't done. So have set up an impossible task, writing out my entire life, on paper, as a means of documenting and reminding myself of everything that has ever been Jeffrey Peter Martin, so that I do/can not forget.

The first three are:
1986, June 3rd, The day I was born.
1989, December 17th, Stephanie is born.
1991, November 11th, Lindsay is born.

I hope this post finds you well.
Peace.